Insight on the Inside
Insight on the Inside - An Article by Scott Oates
In the spring of 2023, I was only a year into developing daily mindfulness practices. I sat every day, listened to dharma talks, attended day long retreats, and was preparing for my first multi-day retreat at The Clearing. I sometimes felt discouraged by the mind’s unruly restlessness. At times, I even had thoughts that I was not going to become a “good meditator.” Nevertheless, when Marjolein and Carolyn introduced Insight on the Inside (IOI) and presented the invitation to attend a meeting about facilitating mindfulness meditation to incarcerated persons in the Richmond area, I leaned in and said “Yes.”
I leaned in not because I had experience and wisdom to share with these men; I said yes because I saw this as a path toward deepening and seasoning my mindfulness practices. I leaned in because, partly, my experience of feeling that I was not going to be a “good meditator.” As a retired educator, I found that teaching is an effective way to grow my understanding and skills. I was eager to learn and experience.
IOI, established in 2009 under the auspices of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington D.C. operates as a non-profit organization. IOI’s mission is sharing mindfulness practices with people who are incarcerated, transitioning from incarceration, in domestic violence shelters, transitioning from homelessness, and hospice. These populations experience a high rate of trauma, addiction and related health disorders, but have limited access to medical/mental health services.
Using a curriculum developed by IOI, Richmond sangha members have been working with incarcerated men and women in the Richmond City Justice Center and in the Petersburg Federal Correctional Institute. Currently, several people from Ekoji’s various groups go into these institutions once a week and teach mindfulness practices. Meetings to talk about teaching practices are held regularly. Recently, the D.C. and the Richmond groups are meeting together for these teaching conversations – the IOI North and the IOI South.
To facilitate mindfulness practices . . . we bring in brief readings from the IOI curriculum which is based on Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, an evidenced-based curriculum that draws from traditional Buddhist teachings and scientific studies. Our practice is to read aloud together. The men are generous, helping each other through unfamiliar words; they are curious, pausing to offer a thought or ask for clarification. Often, I see them learning toward the one who is speaking.
This is the heart of our meetings: how do you see your experiences in the light of these teachings? The shares are quiet and measured. No one shows off. We talk about the empathetic joy they experience regarding their families and each other. They talk about how they work to hold an equanimous stance toward the dehumanizing experiences of being incarcerated. They talk about the challenges of self-compassion and cultivating loving kindness for themselves. And we sit. Not for long, but we do sit, and we talk about what happens when we sit – sharing what we learn about how the mind is restless and unruly.
Not all men take to mindfulness. Our first meetings had over fifteen. Now, our numbers are 3-5. There are so many interruptions in their schedules. Just last week, I passed one of “our guys” who was being led to a meeting with his attorney instead of coming to our meeting. They have such little control over their days. As one said to me, “Do you know what it is like to have to ask for a comb so you can take care of your hair? A toothbrush and toothpaste so you can keep your mouth clean?” Stuff just happens as it happens.
I have witnessed generosity and nobility in the way these men regard themselves and each other in the face of dehumanization. They know they are not blameless, but they are developing a self-compassion practice and exploring a sitting practice. For me, I leave each meeting with grateful and wise compassion. I am grateful because these men continue to touch my heart; and I see that the wisdom I am gaining is respecting the limits of what I can do. I can’t change their material conditions (though my naive heart longs to) but I can engage with them about how they encounter living with these conditions.
-Scott Oates